Most parents have heard of sleep training as a way to encourage babies to settle and sleep more easily. And whilst every baby is a unique and special individual, there are many characteristics they share. Even babies who are usually good sleepers will inevitably go through phases of not sleeping as well as their parents would like them to.
The effects of sleep deprivation can be significant for parents, who often struggle to function when they’re not getting as much sleep as they need.
What is sleep training?
Sleep training is a way to describe making changes to a baby’s usual settling practices. The success of sleep training is based on consistency and parents and babies making changes together. Sleep training also means thinking about the ways a baby is usually settled to sleep and looking for connections between what the baby is used to and what the parents are doing.
Babies who always need help to go to sleep don’t learn skills in self-settling.
Babies who can only go to sleep when they’re rocked, fed, nursed, driven or co-sleep, learn to rely on ‘parent assisted settling’. Then, no matter how carefully the baby is placed into their cot when they’re asleep, they wake as they transition between phases of deep and light sleep and they look for the same help to resettle.
What is the goal of sleep training?
Ultimately, sleep training is about helping babies to go to sleep on their own, in their cot. Rather than needing lots of help to drift off to sleep, the baby is placed into their cot – clean, dry, comfortable, fed but still awake and offered reassurance as they go to sleep.
When doing sleep training, it’s important for parents not to substitute shshing/patting for nursing and feeding their baby to sleep. Remember, the goal of sleep training is to help babies to learn to settle on their own.
What are tired signs?
Tired signs, also called tired cues, are signs that a baby is tired and ready for sleep. Babies generally have a small window of time between when they show tired signs and when they’re most likely to go to sleep. Missing their tired signs and keeping them up can lead to overstimulation and overtiredness.
Parents can often be in the habit of seeing their baby’s tired signs and using these as a prompt to feed/rock/soothe their baby in their arms until the baby is sleeping. Instead, there are benefits in placing the baby into their cot when they’re drowsy but still awake.
Will sleep training hurt my baby?
As long as you are being kind and gentle when making settling changes, you won’t cause any harm to your baby. What’s important is that babies grow in loving, predictable and stable environments where all of their physical and emotional needs are met. Sleep and settling is just one aspect of care in a whole range of things you will do for your baby.
Think about how you settle your baby now and what you’d like to change. Predictable and sensitive care which is based on maintaining a healthy relationship with your baby will support them to grow and thrive.
You have options about how to sleep train your baby. Some parents stop all of their baby’s sleep associations at once, e.g., they stop feeding/nursing to sleep and may even stop their baby’s dummy. Others choose to go more slowly and stop one sleep association every couple of days.
10 things to do before doing any sleep training
- Check with your baby’s Child Health Nurse or GP to make sure they’re growing and feeding well. Hungry babies don’t settle easily and don’t sleep for very long.
- Consider what help your baby needs from you to go to sleep. Making changes generally starts with parents reflecting on how they’re settling their baby and doing things differently.
- Be realistic about when to expect your baby to learn new ways of settling. It can take from a few days to a couple of weeks for babies to build skills towards settling more independently.
- Make sure you have some support. Making changes can be challenging.
- Speak with your partner about how to be consistent and predictable so your baby gets the same settling messages from you both.
- Think about what sort of settling routine will work best for you. Most babies benefit from quiet wind down routines before going to sleep.
- Separate your baby’s feeding and settling times if they’re used to feeding to sleep.
- Check your baby’s sleep environment and always follow the safe sleeping recommendations.
- Pick a quiet time in your household so you can focus on your baby’s sleep/settling routine. If you’re distracted by other issues, you’re less likely to be consistent.
- Think about how you’ll manage your baby’s protests and crying. Sleep training often involves an increase in baby’s crying as they are learning new skills.
Remember
Sleep training strategies are generally based around teaching babies to sleep in their cot. As they’re learning, they often need lots of reassurance and soothing. It’s helpful to be realistic about what amount of sleep a baby needs. Younger babies need more sleep than older babies and can’t be expected to consistently have the same predictable sleeping habits.
Always follow your instincts about what is right for you and your baby and cuddle them as you need to. And speak with your Child Health Nurse if you need more information.
Written for Infacol by Jane Barry, Midwife and Child Health Nurse, September 2022.
