The parenting balance. Who should do what when? | Infacol

The parenting balance. Who should do what when?

We have heard new parents saying that they spend the first few months with their newborn arguing with their co-parent over who does what! Who has to do the night feed? Who gets to sleep in? Even whose turn it is to change the nappy!

For some parents, the arrival of a new baby, can actually feel very lonely or isolating, a new baby can bring with it a lack of time spent together, doing the things you used to love doing. A quietness and detachment can infiltrate our relationship without us even realising.

Family dynamics and situations are different for every family.  Many mums on maternity leave are exhausted by the end of the day and want their partner to step up when they get home from work! Whilst often those that have returned from a long day’s work are tired. So how do you find the balance to ensure you are best helping and supporting each other.

Below are some suggestions:

  1. Let your working partner do bath time. They have likely not seen the baby the whole day and it’s a lovely opportunity to bond with baby and have a snuggle. This leaves the other partner with some baby free time to concentrate on dinner.
  2. Mum can feed the baby before bed, although if bottle fed, your partner may like to snuggle on the couch to do this.
  3. Mum can settle baby to bed if her partner is able to do the next feed (I.e dream feed), using either a bottle of expressed breastmilk or formula. This gives mum the chance to get a block of well-deserved sleep, especially if getting up throughout the night.